But back to the first question I started with, maybe I'm destined to do somethng really awesome which is why I'm not struggling so much. That great thing is around the corner, even though it may be a loooong corner to my ego but in reality it's closer than I realize. Bah! Darn you ego! How dare you fight with me & make me feel bad in any way.
I just feel that I gotta be something great in the future if my life is not beating down on me so hard or maybe it's because my fear of everything has made me imobile to not make the daring life changing move that other people do all the time & achieve something great or will be able to say "yea I made in a move in my life so I can say at the end of my time that at least I tried".
Part of me really knows I will be great I just need to jump in & not fear what's in front of me.
Don't you ever feel like you were made to do something really great? I look at the people around me that I know & a lot of them have the worst luck ever. It seems they can't catch a break & once they finally get out of a bad situation something else bad happens to them. I look at what I go through & discover "hey my life isn't really all that bad", other for the fact that I'm lost in what I want to do with my life I'm not poor, sick or my car is always breaking down or have an abusive partner in any way. I really wonder sometimes how I am more fortunate than my friends? I'm not complaining or anything & that I should be in worse situations but I do wonder what I'm doing or not doing that I'm doing much better than them? I'm very happy & grateful for what I have & yes there are a few bumps I go up against at times but compare to them mine aren't that bad. I should remember this every time I think my life sucks.