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Batik1

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

When you're sleepy, it kind of makes you let your guard down & it's super easy to put your foot in your mouth. Also if you're in a really good place you want to say what you feel & afterwards you sleep & wake up, you are feeling really stupid as you can change you mind once your mind resets. So I possibly have regret from what I said & it might be something I can't talk my way out of this time. I won't know how I feel truly until I hear back & I'm really nervous about it. What have I done? How could I have said that? I knew what was going on from his side & I knew I had the ammo & how dangerous it was but I was so vulnerable that I said it before thinking about whether it was a good idea or not. How can I fix this? What can I possibly say that would make this seem like it meant nothing as I might actually didn't? He asked me a question & I frooze up to afraid of my actual feelings & just ran away. I really need to know how he feels about what I said but I am afraid of the answer no matter what it is. We both let our guard down, I want to blame him for starting it but I am the one who found him so I feel it is my fault way before this happened. I don't know what my true feelings are since it's been many years ago & we haven't seen each other since, just talked. Just old lingering feelings from someone who I never truly got to know. So what are these feelings? & how can I get rid of them if it wasn't meant to be? The grass is always greener they say so how could I possibly know if we would work out? How can I face myself if this falls to pieces?

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