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Stupid Life

Some times life just isnt fair the way it toys with us poor humans. I swear we are all just mice & once in a while we want to play dead to we can miss the stuff we are not willing to face.

I wanted to speak to this guy years ago & never had the courage, he moved away & that helped me take another road instead, I was happy for a bit & now that has faded away & i want something great to happen to me. I finally got up the nerve to reach out to this person after all these years to find out he felt the same way only our lives are in very different places now & are kinda stuck where they are for the moment. I feel so foolish & awkward for saying so many things I just blurted out & I know he feels the same. But on the other hand I no longer have that regret about the "what if". Ugh! I dislike that phrase, it's something that's not easy to think about & it can drive you insane.

I can't really tell if all this happened for a reason, am I ready for this now? I was tired of not taking a leap so I just held my breath & jumped not even thinking about where I would land but just gave it up to fate to land me somewhere safe. I thought that I would never see or speak to this person again & now out of no where something made it happen. I want it to be for good & be a happy chance but at this moment after all the awkward happened I must now play the waiting game - which is never fun. But if I gave it to fate the first time then I should do it again & trust I will land on my feet. Please land on my feet!